I don't know if it's pregnancy or 28 months of parenting; maybe a little of both. I have been fighting those grayish feelings that just make you want to stay in bed. I came downstairs at 6 this am to grab a breakfast all by myself. It was heavenly. Then, I fell back asleep on the couch for a couple of hours. It was nice to not have the sweet demanding chicas giving me orders or wanting some of my breakfast. It was worth pulling myself out from under the warm covers and my bed to tiptoe down to spend some QT alone.
I told Grady something needs to change. My schedule is so monotonous and I don't always thrive when that's the case. I've always like sponetanaity and change! I've tried to embrace and just enjoy this stage. And I do at times. Im just struggling with what most stay-at-home moms probably struggle with which are things like no time to myself, loneliness, frumpy mom syndrome:-) and the like. On the other hand, I love spending everyday with the girls. Watching them grow and change has been so much fun! Getting to see them learn new things each day is my favorite par of this job. And I really wouldn't trade these for anything. My hormones have just won as of late and I'm trying to take back heart and mind.
I sense God is challenging me to embrace him and life in ways I have never done. I want that. Ideally do! I fall short each to do this. My motivation and energy level fail me most days. I just long for those sweet moments of light lifting in the Word and feeling His gentle presence refresh and fill me like none other.
My plan is to put the girls in a summer Mother's Day Out program. I started the re-enrollment process to finish my Master's in counseling, and I may do a few swim lessons this summer. these are my plans to be refreshed. Now to take those and lay them before the King and see what He say... Desiring His approval and plans to supersede mine.
I have hit my limit.
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