Poop, I'm not afraid of you!

We celebrated my grandmother's 74th birthday tonight at a restaurant. I am scared of restaurants these days. Well, I should say I'm scared of taking three kids into any place to eat. It's not a good scene. One of us usually ends up eating in the car with one baby and the other finishes their meal with one or more children and friends inside the restaurant. It's a bummer if you are the parent that gets to eat on the car. This is why I'm scared of going into a restaurant to eat with three girls under three years old.  Though tonight was a different experience. All three girls spent an hour sitting in a lap or a car seat. It was heavenly.

I am a dry heaver. If I see or smell anything resembling poop or the like I cannot help myself. I lose it. I worried a lot about this b.p. (before parenthood). But, now I'm not afraid of poop. I can even handle a little upchuck (disgusting I know). I found the latter out the hard way. It was another birthday party. We were at McDonald's. Eden was not eating her food and that is very unusual as she always eat her weight in any meal we are having. She was going from one grandparent to another and she finally landed on me with a nice present. The whole restaurant got quiet and just stared at us. I was humiliated and drenched. I was thinking to myself that there was no way I was going to be able to hold it together. But after the moments passed I made my way with her to the restroom and then to our car and onto our home to clean up. I never gagged or got sick myself. It was like I had become the bionic mommy or the incredible mommy. It was amazing.

So, tonight when I got out of my online class I was informed by Grady of Eden's episode in the tub. It was left as a nice loose present for me to clean up. I do not even think about it any more. I just go in for the kill. Mike Rowe could come tape an episode at my house. Dirty Jobs: the homemaker, waste, and stuff of toddlers... that might be a good title?!

So, Poop! You can't hurt me no mo'! I've got you figured out! I can breathe easily through my mouth long enough to avoid your poignant odors! And you don't intimidate me!